I figured with the Thanksgiving Holiday upon us this week, It would be fitting to talk about gratitude. That is why this week's Lesson of a Lady is:
gra·cious
ˈɡrāSHəs/
adjective
1.
courteous, kind, and pleasant.
"smiling and gracious in defeat"
| synonyms: | courteous, polite, civil, chivalrous, well mannered, mannerly, decorous;
tactful, diplomatic;
kind, benevolent, considerate, thoughtful, obliging, accommodating, indulgent, magnanimous;
friendly, amiable, cordial, hospitable
|
Although Thanksgiving is a day set aside for us to be Thankful for all that we have, a true happy and lovely Lady will be gracious and thankful for all that she has each and every day.
I feel like, especially in today's society, our culture is starting to lose the big picture of just how blessed we really are. I have to be honest, one of my least favorite hashtags on the internet is the hashtag "First world problems". I know it might just be me, but it screams "spoiled" and "ungrateful" to me. I know most of them are done in jest, but I still have a hard time with this one.
To be gracious is to be grateful and to do it gracefully. In our home, we have "magic words", as I am sure most of you out there already know exactly what I am talking about, I won't beat around the bush. The magic words are:
Please
Thank you
You're welcome
I'm sorry
My oldest daughter knows (and soon our other daughter will learn too) that in order to receive something you want, it can only happen if you say please, IN ADDITION, if there is no thank you given as well, she knows that it can, and most likely, will be taken away until she says thank you.
I feel so strongly about my children being grateful and saying thank you that I grind it into their cute little minds from day one! My baby is starting to talk, and although her vocabulary is still very small, and full of mostly gibberish, one of the most distinct words that she says is "Thank you!"
If a 17 month old can say it, shouldn't everyone be able to say it?
So then, what does it mean to be gracefully grateful? Or Gracious rather? The way I think of graciousness is in relation to a dancer (knowing me, that shouldn't surprise you). When a dancer is described as graceful, that usually means she performed her routine in such a beautiful and elegant way that it appeared to be effortless, as though she was simply floating across the stage. Graciousness is the effortless, beautiful and elegant form in which one shows gratitude and appreciation. Instead of empty "my mother made me say thanks, so... uh yea, thanks", or even the all-to-present head nod (really, when did this become an acceptable form of gratitude? If you were really grateful you would take a moment away from your "important" phone call, text message, or social media post on your phone, make eye contact and express a sincere "Thank you!" to the person who you should express your gratitude for.
***Once again, I do not profess to be perfect at any or all of these lessons. Some of them I have learned through trial and error, some of them I have been born with. Some are results of the moral compass installed in me from my parents, and some, honestly I am still working on.
This one however, is one I am deeply committed to. When you are in the check out stand, or a fast food line, or anywhere there is another person "serving" you in any way... Put your phone away! Say thank you, make eye contact! If it's a super important phone call, at least show the courtesy of putting your phone on your shoulder, and again MAKE EYE CONTACT! and say Thank you!
When you take the time to express your sincere gratitude for the efforts of those around you, then you have passed from "thanks dude" to an elegant and tactful display of common courtesy and sincere graciousness.
If someone holds a door open for you, and elevator, or even offers you a cab/uber or to share! Never, ever, should you EVER ignore that person, in anyway! I will say this in regards to ignoring the kind efforts of others: they did NOT have to do that for you! We live in a world of entitled people who stroll through life only thinking of themselves. When a door is held open for them, they act as though it was expected, that they were somehow dubbed the Queen/King of England somewhere between their front door and the grocery store. No one owes us anything, and by understand that, one can truly grasp the importance of sincere gratitude and graciousness.
So this Thanksgiving, why not take a little extra effort in expressing your Thanks to all those you cross paths with. Heck, let's extend it for the entire Holiday Season!
To be gracious is to be considerate of others feelings in every situation. A gracious lady will always look for ways to make others feel as comfortable as possible.
One way I look at it is, when someone took the time to stop, and hold a door open for me, that was their way of stepping outside of their own "me centered world" and opening their world to mine, it is then my job to open my world back up to them, and acknowledge what a kind, selfless, and generous act that was for them. The fact that they noticed my arms were full of toddlers, or groceries, or the simple chivalry shown by men opening a door for me, taking the time to notice I was a women. I know these probably sound crazy to some of you, but I am a people watcher, and I will tell you in the last 10 years or so I have noticed more and more that people are less and less in a shared world and more and more in their "own little world". Thanks to technology in part and also the ideals that we have slowly developed that the world somehow owes us something, and we are all important... if you took the time to just sit and watch people, it might actually be startling to you to realize how many people completely ignore the presence of those around them, let alone the kind acts of service and selflessness that happen.
A acknowledgement, eye contact and a thank you accompanied by a smile is really all it takes for a Lady to be Gracious, and lovely.
To take this a step further, to be a truly gracious person, one is kind, courteous, grateful, pleasant and all of those other synonyms referred to above, including in times that are unpleasant. Being a gracious loser, when you lose a game. Being the one that opens the door for others, and extends a helping hand... and so forth.
Although graciousness is both so much, yet so simple at the same time, encompassing so many characteristics into one simple and elegant trait, I chose to focus on the gratitude portion of graciousness today due to the upcoming Holiday, but a Lady will be gracious in all aspect of her life.
